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The Most Annoying Things Strangers Say to Me With Two Sets of Twins
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As a mom of five boys, the question I get most often when I’m out in the wild with my children is: “Are they all yours?” Yep, they’re all mine. I totally get that the configuration of my family is not typical. In fact, sometimes I think that having two sets of twins is the most interesting thing about me. People love to say things like “Double trouble!” or “You’ve got your hands full!”
When strangers find out that I have two sets of twins, they’re usually curious. This manifests through questions, some of which I am happy to answer. Other questions can come across as intrusive, so I try to remind myself that people are just trying to be friendly. Still, it can get annoying. Here are the three questions I get most frequently:
“Do twins run in your family, or in your husband’s family?“
I love this question. They do run in my family, but I didn’t learn this until I was pregnant with my first set of twins. As it turns out, my grandma had twin brothers, and one of her sisters gave birth to twins. My husband’s grandpa also had a set of twin sisters. Since becoming a twin mom, I’ve picked up some knowledge on this topic.
Identical twins are totally random and do not run in families. Fraternal twins, which is what I have, do run in families. There is a heritable genetic trait that can cause a woman to release multiple eggs when she ovulates, which is called hyperovulation. Twins occur when two eggs are fertilized. If I had daughters, I could pass this gene on to them. I can still pass it on to my sons, who could then pass it on to their daughters. This is why you hear people say that twins can skip a generation.
“Are your twins natural?“
The snarky answer to this question that I keep to myself is, “Yes, except the one on the left has a bionic arm.” I understand that people are asking whether I underwent fertility treatments to conceive my twins. In my case, I did not. Both of my sets were spontaneous and big surprises. I don’t mind answering this question, but I could see how some twin parents might find it intrusive.
“Are you going to try for a girl?“
When I get this question, I usually feel compelled to explain how we ended up with our second set of twin boys. My husband and I have a little niece that we absolutely adore. He especially has a strong bond with her. They’re both Leos.
When our older twins were about 5 years old, he started floating the idea of having “one more baby”. I wasn’t convinced as I was happily embracing a new stage of life in which all of my kids could dress themselves, hike a couple of miles with me, get their own snacks and ride bikes. He really wanted to try for a girl.
What convinced me to go for “one more baby” was thinking beyond our immediate future. Instead, I imagined what our family would be like as our children grew up. We went for it and got a surprise second set of twin boys. It’s wilder and louder and more chaotic than I’d envisioned. But it’s also more beautiful. And before you ask, I have officially retired from my remarkable childbearing career.
Have strangers asked you any odd questions about your kids? Let me know in the comments.
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